| FEATURES
CREATURE FEATURE
INTERVIEWS
WEEKLY HORROR NEWS
BEFORE THEY WERE STARS
BEFORE THEY WERE STARS 2
COMING SOON
WEEKLY RANT
REVIEWS MENU
GOODIES MENU
HOME
|
|
BEFORE THEY WERE STARS
They were your normal poor actors or actresses getting hacked up by some masked psycho, or just in some bad movie.
|
|
|
Jason Alexander "Burning" Up
Before he was Jerry Seinfelds bumbaling bald buddy George on the hit series Seinfeld Jason Alexander was a bumbaling moron with hair named Dave in the movie The Burning. Jason was just kicked out of college when he was cast in the movie, which features great gore effects by Tom Savini. The effects are so great that the movie is banned to this day in Finland, Norway, and Germany. Though he doesnt get to succumb to Tom Savini's wicked effects he does have a ass shot, which in my opinion is more gross than anything Tom Savini could create. A couple years later Jason got his big break in a McDonalds commercial, where he made a ass of himself once again |
Madonna's A Not So "Lucky Star"
The Year 1983, the not so "Lucky Star" Madonna. In 1983 Madonna was a struggling actress not having much luck finding a acting gig, until she crossed paths with the creators of The Toxic Avenger, thats right the Troma Team. Madonna auditioned for a role in their film The First Turn On, a sex comedy about kids who are trapped in a cave and pass the time by talking about their first sexual encounters, sounds like her kind of role right. Well she didnt get the part so she decided to became a singer instead of a actress, I think you Madonna fans owe Troma a big thank you. |
|
|
|
Julie Brown Practices Her "Bloody" Bad Acting For Strip Mall
Actress, comedian, singer Julie Brown geared up for her role on the show Strip Mall quite a long time ago. In 1970 Brown practiced her stripping talents in the movie Bloody Birthday, a cheesy horror flick about crazy kids born during the eclipse who ten years later go on a rampage. Her nice psycho siblings actually charge neighborhood boys pocket change to watch miss Brown strip way, until they get sick of her like most of us have and shoot her with a arrow. |
Samuel L. Jackson Is "Def"
Before he was a big black motha in Shaft, he was a big black father in Def By Temptation. He played a preist in the movie about a succubus trying to steal the soul of a minister in training named Joel. That same year Sammy was in a little know movie called The Exorcist 3 in the dream sequence. I wonder if Sam made a pact with the devil himself to actually have a career, and ruin a cool movie like Shaft
|
|
|
|
Sylvester Stallone Gets Beat
Stallone got beat before Rocky, and im not talking about his porn film The Party At Kittys And Studs. In 1975 Stallone appeared in Paul Bartels masterpeice Death Race 2000 along side Mr. Kung Fu himself David Carradine. The films about a great race in the year 2000 were not just passing the finish line counts, its all about the body count. In Death Race Stallone plays Machine Gun Joe Viterbo, a NYC lunkhead who actually thinks he can beat the king of the Death Race Frankinstein (David Carradine). With such lines as "You know Myra, some people might think you're cute. But me, I think you're one very large baked potato" he showed the world that he cant act. The next year he made some little known film called Rocky, and once again showed off his bad acting. |
3D Demi (And Were Not Talking About Her Boobs)
In 1982 Demi Moore starred in the Charles Band flick Parasite. A movie full of laser guns, bad 3-d effects, gore, and a parasitic worm played by Demi Moore. Well actually she's not the parasitic worm in the movie just a bad actress. Some time in the near future a man creates a blood thirsty parasite that ends up burroughing in his stomach, and you guessed it its up to him and Demi to stop the damm thing or it could end up taking over mankind. Demi was so highly influenced by her costar the lovable parasite, she decided to try and take over mankind herself a couple years later by posing nude in some dirty magazines
|
|
|
|
Charles Bronson A Muscle Man?
In 1953 a little known muscle man man named Charles Buchinsky landed his first big role in The House Of Wax. The muscle man played Vincent Price's assistant named Igor, who helps Price obtain corpses for his wax mueseum. In the end Charles is arrested and put into Sing Sing prison "Where he wont get until until he has a long beard". Well Charles must have taken that advice to heart because he grew a mustache, changed his named to Bronson and eventually became the #1 action star in the US during the 70's, he just had to get rid of the muscles first. |
|
|
